Conflict Resolution with Social and Emotional Intelligence

When ti comes to conflicts, are you able effectively negotiate and resolve disagreements?

People who lack conflict management skills react to difficult situation in various ways. They may be uncomfortable with arguments and have a tendency to avoid conflict at all costs. They might fail to listen to other points of view when disagreement arises or lack consideration and tact when voicing disagreement. In fact, they often present their argument in a way that creates hostility. As a matter of fact, they tend to see other people as opponents and try to find solutions that serve only themselves. They do fail to see what part they may play in creating the problem and blame the problem and conflict on other people. 

On the other hand, people who have developed good skills and strategies for resolving conflict are able to deal with difficult and tense situations with diplomacy and tact. They are usually able to spot potential conflicts before they arise and help de-escalate, encouraging debate and open discussions. They are masters in understanding different perspectives and point of views and orchestrate win/win situations by finding a common ideal that alla parties can endorse. 

Remember: conflict shall not be avoided or ignored; you must learn how to deal with it. 

Here below find some tips to develop your skills:

• The first step is to strengthen your emotional self-awareness.
• Separate people from the problem (focus on the issue rather than personal matters).
• Be open. Flexible. Listen and be open to change your mind.
• Do not try to avoid conflict. Embrace it. Learn from it. Go forward.
• Use your creativity and brainstorm. Ask yourself what is the best option for obtaining a win/win situation.
• Self-analysis and ask yourself what can you say or do that will make for a more constructive dialogue.
• Examine all the aspects of the negotiation and create/deliver a persuasive message that will be well accepted and does not have return fire (no put downs or make wrongs!). 
• Use objective criteria such as data to reach your goals.
• Manage your emotions, always. And be empathetic. 
• Ask someone to help you out if disagreement cannot be resolved (usually, a neutral third party).
• Keep improving. After negotiations keep analyzing yourself,. How did you behave, what were your thoughts, in which past experiences have you used same patterns… and keep getting better. 
• Learn about human psychology and types of communication styles.
• Read ‘Communication Magic’ and ‘Mind Lines’ by Dr. Michael L. Hall.
• Train with a certified Social and Emotional Intelligence Coach.

“The most difficult thing in any negotiation, almost, is making sure that you strip it of the emotion and deal with the facts.” ― Howard Baker

“Social and Emotional Intelligence (SEI) is the ability to be aware of your own emotions, and those of others, in the moment, and to use that information to manage ourselves and our relationships.” ―The Institute for Social and Emotional Intelligence