How To Boost Your Interpersonal Effectiveness

Social skills are essential to good leadership in all realms of life. Fundamentally, relationship management is all about relating to others in a constructive way, bringing out the best in others through empowerment and leading by example. 

Interpersonal effectiveness is possessing diplomacy and the skills to relate well and build rapport with all kinds of people (and knowing to how to use them  to ease transactions and relationships with others).

This is why social intelligence is so important. You need to know how the social world works, understanding and respecting the social rules of conduct and cultural, religious, gender and socioeconomic differences, in order to interact smoothly with everyone at all levels. Communicating with tact and diplomacy is key as is having exceptional listening skills.

On the other hand, poor interpersonal skills exhibits lack of awareness of others. Typically, if you lack interpersonal skills, you are unable to read other people and understand their emotions, needs and concerns and you might encounter lots of difficulties relating to others. This shortcoming can lead to various relationship problems: you might fail to listen and instantly jump to conclusions; you may result insensitive, arrogant, unapproachable and quick to judge, devaluing others or demonstrating lack of respect.

Here below please find some tips to improve your interpersonal effectiveness:

• Develop self-awareness
• Learn about human nature and interpersonal relationships (to start, read “Influence” by Robert Cialdini and “Social Intelligence” by Daniel Goleman)
• Take a genuine interest in other people. Be curious
• Ask for more open ended, clarifying questions
• Pay attention to how people respond to you
• Seek to understand others: learn to truly listen (to needs, emotional states…). Listen for what is not being said as much as for the spoken words. Listen for understanding, without interrupting and without judgment (avoid to instantly jump up with your opinions, solutions, conclusions)
• Meet people where they are. Have a contagious positive altruistic attitude. Quickly put people at ease
• Know other communication styles and relate to others using the optimal approach
• Share info with others, and obtain more information in return
• Learn how to manage your emotional states
• Work with a Social and Emotional Intelligence certified Coach to improve and master your skills

Social and emotional intelligence is the ability to be aware of our own emotions and those of others, in the moment, and to use that information to manage ourselves and manage our relationships. —The Institute for Social and Emotional Intelligence