How to Establish a Bond of Trust with Social and Emotional Intelligence

coaching social and emotional intelligence May 16, 2024

Life is all about relationships! Being ethical and trustworthy when working and relating to other people is super important for your success in any realms of life. 

Unfortunately, in our society most people have trust issues and this takes us back to our childhood where we were taught we could not be trusted… for this particular reason, the very first step each of us need to take is to strengthen our self-awareness and learn to trust ourselves…

Needless to say, people who have the ability to establish a bond of trust have developed a high level of social and emotional intelligence. They’re aware of their own emotions and those of others, and use that information to manage themselves and their relationships (yes, this is social and emotional intel!). 

What about you? 

Do you behave in accordance with your expressed beliefs, values commitments and always maintain high standards of personal integrity? Do you genuinely care about other people and treat others fairly, consistently with respect? Do you (over) deliver on your promises and commitments?

Essentially, trust means that other people have confidence in you walking the talk, having their best interest in mind, adding value in your relationship.

According to Collins dictionary: “If you trust someone, you believe that they are honest and sincere and will not deliberately do anything to harm you.” 

The other side of the coin concerns people who are not consistent in their words and actions and do not have the best interest of others in mind. These people behave erratically, taking advantage of others for their own gain, failing to deliver on commitments and treating other people poorly, with no respect. Generally, these people say one thing and do the other, making promises they are not able or not willing to keep. As a result, they are not able to establish strong bonds and have developed a reputation for misleading or lying and lacking integrity. 

You probably know many people who cannot be trusted and you and in all likelihood you also agree with this quote from George MacDonald: “To Be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.”

In order to develop and refine your skills in this area, here below please find few tips:

  • Develop and strengthen your self-awareness
  • Always treat people with respect
  • Be open minded
  • Be congruent (practice what you preach) and consistent; never betray your integrity
  • Be compassionate
  • Always (over) deliver on your commitments
  • Go beyond the surface level when trying to understand others
  • Learn about other people’s lives and interests by listening actively and carefully to what’s important to others
  • Be accessible (do not rely on your titles or status) and build healthy, human relationships
  • Never lie or intentionally mislead
  • Share personal/professional information and be vulnerable (appropriate self-disclosure)
  • Admit your mistakes
  • Express appreciation for others and demonstrate respect and caring
  • Protect the interests of others and extend trust to them
  • Focus on solving problems rather than blaming other people
  • Dimostrate your leadership leading by example
  • Read “Begin with Trust” by by Frances X. Frei and Anne Morriss on Harvard Business Review (Magazine June-May 2020) and remember: “Leadership begins not when others trust you but when you trust yourself”
  • Work with a certified Social and Emotional Intelligence Coach to develop and refine your skills

 

“Trust is the glue of life. It's the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It's the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” —Stephen Covey

“Social and Emotional Intelligence (SEI) is the ability to be aware of our own emotions, and those of others, in the moment, and to use that information to manage ourselves and our relationships.” ―The Institute for Social and Emotional Intelligence

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